Saturday, 3 December 2011

To Work Or Not To Work

It's not an easy question for women once they become mothers. Taken, obviously, that you are lucky enough to have the choice at all. I've decided to work as I enjoy it; it challenges me, I like the bit of independence it gives me, I enjoy the social aspect of an office, I like my actual job, achieving goals gives me confidence plus it's rewarding enough financially to keep it going. I know that so far it's been the right choice for me and that I'm happier this way and therefore a better and more patient mother. This doesn't mean that I don't sometimes feel guilty about not being at home with Baby. I think it's the UK that makes me feel guilty though more than anything else. If I still lived back home I wouldn't think twice about it as most mothers work; it's more unusual not to.  In the UK it's not often financially beneficial for a mother to work, which I guess must be a big contributor to the fact that so many women stay at home once they have children.

Despite the fact that I enjoy working lately I've started doubting my decision more than before. Mostly because I thought that work hadn't been going as well for me as it had done in the past. A couple of weeks ago I reached the decision that as I don't like it that much anymore  and as I'm not as well regarded as I used to be it's not worth continuing and that I will resign in the beginning of next year. Well yesterday I had to go through with the awful experience of letting an employee go, which by the way was every bit as awful as I thought it would be... but as I was talking to my boss about it afterwards and even though he was sympathetic to both the person who lost her job and me who as her boss had to do it he said: 'welcome to management". As ridiculous as it sounds that made me think if quitting my job would be a mistake after all! Will I be ready to let go of my career as what if it's still in an uphill...?

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